NIC BURROSE

NOTE TO SELF BEFORE YOU DIE

(for Topher)

burn your birth certificate

burn your id

toss yr cellphone in the trash

take all forty-two dollars cash you have left in the bank and all the lint in yr pockets

and with it buy a ticket

to some place you've never been

as far from home as you can possibly get

and when you get there

find the highest mountain

and climb to the top of it

when you get to the top

strip completely naked

no one will care because you will be the only person there

and if there are people, fuck it

skin is only skin deep and anyway

you are no one now, remember?

find the precipice of the highest cliff upon that mount

and look down at the world around you

now...

breath everything you see, hear, smell, touch, taste, think

into your lungs

into your guts

everything, all existence,

the universe,

the multiverse

hold it in yr lungs like a puff of smoke

until you begin to float

and remember that taste

now blow

blow out your ghosts, your id, ego and super ego

blow like bird, baby, on benny and heroin

delete all control

if you've been holding your bladder

let it all go, yeah baby, right off that cliff

fertilizing the fields of darkness, ignorance, and hate with rainbow piss

find the sun in the sky

look that bastard straight in his angry eye

and tell him

"father sun, you no longer own me!

you didn't know me to begin with

and i will no longer allow you to choose my fate.

see me floatin here?

well, i defy your rules. hah!"

if there happen to be people watching you as you strip naked and pee yourself

those onlookers will probably think you are completely insane,

be afraid and stare at you like you are the animal aftermath of a car crash

but pay them no mind

as you float into the sky

raise your beer stick high above yr head,

heavenward like a flamming sword

(don't worry, it'll magically appear outta nowhere like a UFO in a dust storm...)

knowing that if this is your time

you are ready to die laughing hysterically with pride

in the face of all gods and masters

without lies without tears

with pure joy in your eyes

knowing you are here to show the laws of men, women, government and physics

that they are too slow to keep up with you

and own you no more

2/13/2011 S.F.